How To Shoplift From Macy*s And Other Department Stores

Without The Slightest Chance Of Getting Caught

This tutorial is directed at girls, but guys can pull it off too with some slight alterations.
It's actually a lot easier than people think. There are going to be a few things you'll need though...

• A long coat. Peacoats work best. Don't use a trenchcoat because no matter how you wear them, you look suspicious.
  
• Slightly baggy pants. Baggy enough to wear pants under your pants, but not overly baggy.
• Rainboots, Ugg boots, or other pants-covering boots. This will ensure that lifted pants don't reveal shoplifted pants.

Start by grabbing a dress or long coat similar to your own. This will hide your wanted item into the changing rooms with ease.
Next grab one or two items you plan on taking. make sure they are items that can be worn under what you have on without showing AND don't have security tags on them. Leggings tend to be security tag free as do some pairs of jeans. If your pants are baggy enough, you can wear both the leggings and the jeans under them. You can do the same with shirts as well.
Slip the items you plan to take inside the larger item you grabbed first.
Now grab similar items to what you're taking to actually try on.

Head on into the dressing room, try everything on except what you're stealing. Save those items for last. After you try on everything else, put on one item you are stealing, pop off the tags, and put the tags under something. If you have gum, take a bit of it out of your mouth to stick it under the little seat thing. Do this with each article of clothing until you have everything on.

Put on your own clothes and check yourself in the mirror. If you look overstuffed, remove a less important item and just leave it. You must look natural.

Finally. leave. It's really as simple as that. Make sure to put the decoy clothes away or in the proper place so that employees can put them away.

Enjoy you new self-guilt-inspiring clothes!

How To Sneak Someone Into Your Room At Night

And How To Get Caught In The Morning Without Getting In Trouble.

1. Find someone special to sneak in. It has to be someone you wouldn't feel weird being in a bed with as this is the key to not getting in trouble.
2. Sneak them in. The best options are often the most common. I would suggest using a bedroom window as they're the most readily available option. If you've got a 2nd or 3rd story bedroom, sneak all the way downstairs, let them in through the front door, grab a water bottle or something from a lower floor, and walk back up stairs with them. If your parent comes in asking what you were doing, keep your sneak-in buddy hidden, but show the water bottle.
3. Cuddle, make-out, snuggle, chat, play Parcheesi, or whatever you decided to sneak them in for.
4. Go to sleep and share the bed with them. If your bed has both sides free and not touching walls, you can sleep on whatever side of them you like. If your bed has one side against a wall, have your sneak-in buddy sleep close to the wall while you sleep on the open side.
5. Sleep.
6. You may get lucky and your parent might not come in in the morning, If so, you can sneak them out the way they came or have them wait until the coast is clear later in the day for them to simply leave whenever.
7. If your parent does come in, they will see the bed sharing and, if they are easily angered, yell at you until you wake up. Pretend to wake up slowly, say "What?" When they point out your sneak-in buddy, give a little scream and a "What the hell are you doing in my house? In my room? In my bed? How the hell did you get in here?" The more you play up your surprise, the more believable it will be.
8. Make sure your sneak-in buddy knows how to reply to these questions. They should reply with something about you calling them while half asleep, inviting them over, letting them in, and then going to sleep. They didn't know if they could get back out without getting caught,so they just stayed.
   

This method should work perfectly. However, I wouldn't suggest doing this too often because your parent might get smart and steal your phone at night or tell your sneak-in buddy to ignore your late-night calls. This method works extremely well if you invite different people over. This will seem more believable when it comes to sleep-calling.

Enjoy your late-night sneaking!

Why I Can Help You

I am not a bad person. I am not an adventurous person. I have never done drugs. I have never smoked a cigarette. I don't drink alcohol. I've never been in a fight. I rarely break my parents' rules.

However, I know how to get away with anything if I ever needed to.
If you need to get away with something "bad" or just feel like getting some ideas, I can help.

I can lie my way out of just about anything. I'm good at it too.

And so, I have created this blog to share my abilities with you so that perhaps you too can get away with anything.